After Earth Review

After Earth Review

Are you looking for that one special movie? that one movie where Will Smith does nothing for ever? WELL here it is!! "After Earth" WATCH Will Smith sit on his ass for one and half hour! EXCITING!!!! WAUW LOOK AT THAT CHAIR ACTION!!! the one movie that dares to ask the question... "How do you make alien invasion with huge monster boring?"... Well it has been answered! "After Earth!!!!"...
A movie that makes no sense 5 seconds into the film "the monsters smelled our fear! cuz they are blind and shizz so they smelled fear instead. So we developed soldiers that don't fear them!" the aliens are like "awh shit man, they no afraid no mo? how we gon get em now main? we cannot afford eyes on our BIOENGINEERED SPECIALY BRED KILLER MONSTERS, that we made from the ground up, which suggest we have the ability to make them with eyes... awh no man that would be to easy for us man, let them humans win the war cuz we lazy"
also featuring a class 1 planet where everything is out to kill you, yet the eagle which is twice the size of a grown man cannot kill a 15 year old boy dropping from a cliff with no means of defence. neither can the pack of man sized baboons, a type of animal known to have killed people, that somehow cannot catch up to him either... in a forest i might add...
btw the eagle has serious mood swings...
also the planet freezes over completely in the night (for no reason btw) also did i mention the planet is earth? and WHY THE FUCK DOES THE PLANET FREEZE OVER! ther is no mention of nuclear war or anything, it litteraly goes from plus 20 C to everything is frozen solid in about, 5 minutes...
i mean i can take this shit if it were another planet, but come on man! its earth... also how does the broken crashed spaceship have that much power still, and internal heat, even though we see that it breaks com-fucking-pletely...

warning!
even though what i said might have sounded interesting, there is actually about 10 minutes of action in 2 hours of playtime... the rest is Jaden running and Will sitting on his ass looking high and wasted at the same time... u might say "huh sounds like a fun stupid thing to watch" and you would be correct! except the fun part! its not fun... its boring... its like here is 30 second of action! now 30 minutes of terribly written dialogue...

M Night Shyamalan!!!
I COMMEND YOU FOR BEING SUCH A FUCKING TERRIBLE MOVIE WRITER AND DIRECTOR... also i hope you get fired and your legs fall of from sudden shittyness

this was wall of text of doom kinda angry review of "After Earth" or "Boring ass on chair" movie